Zipper Down
My mother-in-law’s last words to me were a joke.
But I did hear lots of mother-in-law jokes, especially at extended-family cook-outs. The women would listen with smiles of toleration.
What I have liked most about mother-in-law jokes is that I didn’t have a mother-in-law like those parodied.
What I liked most about Alma Mom was her sense of humor. Even in her last hours, as she lay in her hospital bed, in and out of consciousness, surrounded by a gaggle of family members, she looked at me and said something. I had just come into the room and was standing at the foot of her bd. I couldn’t hear her soft words.
My wife, sitting close to her, leaned in, asked her what she said, and announced to the crowd, “Your zipper is down, Mom says.” Laughter. I asked Alma Mom if those were going to be her final words to me. That got her laughing her last laugh. And that became for me the best son-in-law joke and the one that I shared at her funeral service.
I have now run out of mothers: mine is gone, Alma is gone. Sad. No more son-in-law jokes. But lots of memory-smiles.
Got time for more ramblings?
Shabby Kim
My friend Kim didn’t offer much as a kid, even as a young adult. She wasn’t all that pretty, couldn’t sing well, and was much too timid. At least that’s what she told herself and why she read “The Littlest Angel” over and over.
Write Like Emily
My impressive — or so I thought– two-page essay for a college American Literature course was returned with a large, red “D” and the words, “See me!” I was about to experience something awkwardly eye-opening.
Last Meal Out
Natalie smiled constantly as she listened to the stories and hilarity of relatives and friends gathered near her. She was one of them but did not participate. Ninety-three years of joys and challenges and sadness had run their course. My mother was now dying. And then she got up and went out for Sunday dinner and grocery shopping.
All Bets Off delves into the common backstory and connected final chapter of two disoriented seniors.
Wild Rice Wild steps through 24 hours in the beleagured life of someone with both an awkward problem and a harsh memory.
For children comes a wonderfully silly story about, Stella Spoonbill Takes a Bathwho realizes she needs a bath for the first time.
Payback Kiss
My mother broke her foot back in the early ’50s when she had two young children, when my father was off to sea with the Navy, when money was tight, when we lived on the top floor of a double-decker house, and when we didn’t have a car. My mother was alone and trapped and reluctant to seek help. Then comes the really good part of the story.