Drop-ins
We all have lifer-friends who shape us regularly. But then there are those who drop in and out of our lives and who take up a special memorable space. Here are just a few of my drop-ins who gave me a bit of clarity and a shot of confidence. Who are your drop-ins?
Be sure to click/tap on photos for a closer view. And check out Aloners, Body Parts, Crowders, Photogenics, and Smilers.

Jim Wightman
Chemistry Professor
Jim was wonderfully peculiar: brilliant yet folksy, articulate with academics and chatty with farmers and kids, focused on the now while thinking five steps ahead, a person of deep faith who refused group-think, a person rich in accomplishments and even richer in humility. He’s gone now and I miss him, but I’ll see him again before long.
Abdullah Al-Hassan
Saudi Businessman
This Saudi brother taught me enough Arabic to gain the trust of his colleagues, bought me an exquisite throbe to wear during executive presentations, convinced a group at a park that I had been the speechwriter for an American president so I could take their picture, absorbed me into his family, took me to local Riyadh eateries, and kept watch as I photographed mosques in Abu Dhabi.
Roy Siegfriedt
Family Counselor
He talked me into throwing the javelin in spring track our last year in high school, agreed we should double-date for the senior prom, headed off to some college and the military, plowed through messy times, created impressive daughters, lost contact with each other over the years, and 50 years later re-enlisted as best friends.
Stella Sierra Skaare
Full-time Kid
I taught her to stick out her tongue at one month old; she taught me to maintain eye contact, then later to jump in mud puddles, to dance silly, to play endlessly, to pass gas and call the sound “crickets,” to know that rock-star girls always win races against grandpa, and to deep-laugh in deep-love.
Jack Nettles
Boss, Mentor, Friend
Jack taught me that a boss should be a mentor who subtly applies wisdom to daily life, who listens even to offbeat ideas and reshapes them so they work, and who keeps editing good writing until it becomes effective communication. He retired back home to Victoria Texas before heading to his permanent home.
Arthur Goodridge
Pianist, Tai-chi teacher
This guy sits down at his piano whenever and improvises intricate, mesmerizing, jazzy-classical-like music. Street-wise from a mostly white, working class city, a dominant high school state basketball star, politically savvy from ’70s activism, determidely finished a couple of academic degrees, a deep listener and open-minded commentator on life’s struggles.
David Singer
Photographer, Writer
I was fascinated by the laborious photo development process David mastered in the 1970s. His final images were captivating. So, I bought a camera like Dave’s, sent my shots off for processing, and learned repeatedly over many years about the criticality of composition.
John Van Devender
Writer, Pundit.
He defined “curmudgeon,” less on the cranky side — though he was that at times — but more of a loner of sorts who cared little about dress codes and social expectations. Tack-smart, sharp-witted, a poignant writer, and, most of all, kind-hearted, John reminded me of why we hang out with folks unlike us. He’s now a special memory.
Natalie Skaare
Mother, Struggler, Giver
Natalie had legitimate explanations for her loneliness, narcissism, and dogedness: her father walked out on the young family during the Depression, she became the least among her siblings. But she pushed on against life’s winds, pushed me to get smart and be kind, laughed much, gave much, and died holding my hand and telling me I had done good.
Etta Powers
Adopted Grandmother
She was a country Southerner, someone who could tend a farm, clean and cook anything that swam or crawled in the ocean, kept a simple faith in Jesus, suffered through a broken heart when her son was killed in the War, and, in her later life, loved me, the Yankee, with softness and laughs. And when she sat in the early morning light of her kitchen holding my little one, I fell in love with photography.