Deciding Not to Decide
Richard Skaare
You’re put into an authority position — say, in your company, for a community organization, or at your condo association — because you exude confidence. Your first challenge is to not let consensus thwart that confidence.
Consensus is an uncomfortably comfortable word: comfortable because team-building — a sometimes euphemism for consensus — is the assumed first priority for newly designated leaders.
Everyone knows the quip: there’s no “I” in “team.” But also there’s no “we” in decision.
The discomfort with consensus is that decisions, the assumed synonym for confidence, are risky in a culture of consensus. Consequently, decisions can get swallowed up in delay and deflection. The final decision is on you.
For example …
You and your group have worked through the pluses and minuses of some new initiative. There were differences, sometimes heated, among team members about the list.
You, as the leader, present the results with your team to someone higher up, who then asks which option you — that’s you, the leader — are recommending. Team members are watching you carefully for the answer.
Do you repeat the merits of each option and then timidly show slight favoritism towards one? In that case, you’d be upwardly delegating the decision while showing “the team” that you are indecisive.
Not good.
Other No-no's
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To avoid making a tough decision, you ask others:
“If you were me, what would you do and say?”
Sounds participatory, but are you really hoping that one of them will give you the decision you should be making? Worse yet, you might defer to forming a committee. But you know that route is filled with potholes.
Try this instead …
“Here’s my preliminary decision on this issue. Now challenge me on it.”
If that statement intimidates the group, you might say, “Here are two concerns I have about that. Let’s talk about them.”
You start a bad-news meeting by saying:
“Tom, Kaitlyn, and I had a long session yesterday about an important issue and here’s what we came up with.”
Sounds like the group made a decision but not everyone in the group was involved.
Try this instead …
“Several of us got together yesterday to analyze some tough new challenges. Let me tell you awhat we found and what I have decided we need to do about them.”
That’s flexibility backed by resolve.
At the first meeting of a committee you formed, you ask:
“What does each of you think our purpose is for this committee?”
Sounds familial and groupy but also procrastinating.
Try this instead …
“The purpose of this group is to provide data-supported solutions to a specific issue, offer perspectives from each member’s expertise, and recommend clear-cut recommendations for decision-makers.”
A final tip
On your to-do list, insert “Decide” as the first word for each task. If you can’t, insert “Drop.” That may be your best decision.
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