
Back to the Foxhole
Richard Skaare
A regular paycheck after unemployment can cause us to forget what we promised in the tough times that we would do in the good times — like remembering people from back then. Time to return to the foxhole.
The week before getting a job offer, following months of unemployment, you likely are:
- burdened, perhaps bitter, by the injustices of the past
- bored and somewhat undisciplined by the unstructured present, and
- anxious, maybe even incapacitated, by the uncertain future.
The week after starting that new job, you’re likely to be:
- oblivious, mostly, to the past
- exhilarated by the stimulation of the present, and
- determined to chart a more purposeful future.
Both experiences are common and understandable, but both are skewed by emotions. That’s okay. No embarrassment here. The feelings are natural. The problem, however, is that the emotional relief of a regular paycheck and the sense of job security after the financial stress and drifting of unemployment can cause short-term memory loss. You quickly forget what you promised in the tough times that you would do in the good times.
3 Promises
1
Remember, you said you'd be a networker.
You didn’t do that when you were last employed, but you sure stepped it up after losing your job. There’s the batch of folks who kindly linked you with their contacts, the new Facebook and LinkedIn friends who commiserated and encouraged, and your former colleague who got you a courtesy interview at his friend’s company.
However, it’s now a month after you started your new work and you still haven’t updated and thanked them. They don’t expect thanks, but then again, you didn’t expect their help. They’re in your mind, but you need to move your good thoughts to your lips and typing fingers. This is your past network that now could be your future network. Don’t forget them.
2
Remember, you vowed this job would be different.
And it is. You are pumped up. The first few weeks have been exhilarating: upbeat, helpful colleagues, exciting challenges, and ambitious plans by senior management. But, have you forgotten the first few weeks of your last job – the job you once loved but ended up not loving you. Yep, the same excitement. What seemed wonderfully unreal at the time eventually did prove to be unreal.
Sorry for letting some air out of your balloon but, honestly, have you forgotten what you told yourself just a few months back? You said that you would avoid getting back on the emotional rollercoaster of high hopes and low impact. Instead, you would set a focused agenda that would benefit both you and the organization. Great … I mean, great, now do it.
3
Remember, you would never lapse into workoholism.
When you were last employed, you never found time to think about life after the organization, life after 6:00 p.m., or life in general – and that was all going to change on the next job.
So, why have you cracked open your new laptop to catch up on emails during family movie night? Is it that learning a new job takes time? True. Is it because you feel you have to prove yourself? Not so true. Or is it because you are letting unemployment flashbacks intimidate you? Workaholism is a disease. Get help.
5 Reminders
A
Reminder why you accepted the job.
Call your mother and aunt and in two sentences explain your new job and why you took it. A week later, ask your sister how they explained it to her. If what they said approximates what you originally said, they believed you, and you can believe yourself. If not, don’t close down your job search quite yet.
B
Reminder to network
Select 10 well-positioned individuals from your newly expanded network and put a six-month recurring task on your calendar to send them a note, an interesting article, or whatever will engage them. This group is your opportunity – and safety — net.
C
Reminder of where you were
Cut out time every week from your now busy schedule to help an unemployed friend get to where you are. In other words, do unto others what others might not have done unto you.
D
Reminder of where you are heading.
I say this often: review/update your resume monthly – yes, monthly.
E
Reminder about remembering
Write your own list of reminders on a 3×5 card and carry it with you. Read it weekly while eating breakfast.
More Ideas
Regret Writing
I wrote an angry email to my oldest late one night that broke my 12-hour rule. I was right in the reprimand but wrong in the tone of the message. Here’s what I learned about regret, and how, maybe, to prevent a reocurrence.
Are You Paying Attention to Me?
When I stepped into the university classroom as a guest lecturer for a course titled “Computer-mediated Communication,” I faced 40 students sitting in rows of tables peering politely at me from behind computer screens while tapping on keys.
Miztakes: Oops or Ouch?
Mistakes are not what they used to be. They once were black and white, intimidating, and your fault. Now a mistake is more oops than ouch, encouraged as development, touted as a growth opportunity, and not completely your fault.